Over the weekend, we were all hanging out at my parents’ house with my brother & his daughter. My dad dips tobacco (GROSS!) and generally has various spit cups lying around the house. Most of the time these cups are empty water bottles, and when the kids are over he tries to make sure he keeps the lids on them.
Only this past weekend, he must have forgotten to put the lid on one. You see where this is going, right?
Brett, my mom, my brother & I were all in the computer room watching some fascinating YouTube videos of lizards eating rats (my brother has a lizard or two in his house (no, I don’t know why) (yes, he’s a grown-ass man)) when Jack came into the room and tossed a nearly empty tobacco-spit-bottle into my brother’s lap.
As first my mom, then the rest of us, slowly realized what happened, a bit of chaos ensued. My mom took Jack to the bathroom to wash his mouth out and I walked into the living room to find the majority of the bottle’s contents poured all over the very-light-beige colored carpet in the living room.
We weren’t really sure if he actually ingested any of the tobacco spit (TOBACCO SPIT!! How vile!) or not. We kept an eye on him & he didn’t seem to be acting weird, so we figured he got a taste of it but then spit (heh-heh) it out. Later on at home, he was cuddling with Brett on the couch when suddenly he vomited. And it smelled like tobacco. Fortunately he only threw up once, and he seemed fine afterward.
Fast-forward to the next morning. Brett got up with Jack & I was still lazing around in bed playing Uno on my phone when I heard Brett cry out, “Jack! NO!!” with more than the usual urgency.
Jack got hold of a nearly-empty beer bottle and took a swig. Luckily he didn’t like the taste & spit (most of) it out.
This boy is on a path of self-destruction. Either that or he’s learned that stuff is nasty & he’ll have such strong associations with it that when he’s old enough to actually experiment with it, he won’t be interested.
I have a similiar story as a kid of drinking my uncle dipshit’s dip-spit. If history repeats, you can expect Jack to eventually develop that taste for beer.